Banner

THE ANNUAL TOUR VIRGINS PAGEANT

2008 - A Competition with Few Memories

The 2008 Pageant took place in a venue about which I remember nothing.
It was won by a team that I do not remember
It was won by the delightful contestant pictured to the left, that i have no recollections about other prior to seeing this picture.

So What do I remember about the 2008 Tour Virgin Pageant??

It would be impossible to forget the contestant entered by the Royal Selangor Old Dogs. She was like something out of pulp fiction. I think she was called Wally and she had a unique Beauty only usually available in such contests. To this day, they still complain about the lack of silverwear.
I remember the first contestant, a member of one of the Middle East teams, by far the best looker, but failed in the only one true rule in Beauty competitions. Don't open your mouth love. Simple to remember but in practice, but not so easy under the bright lights.
I remember a contestant with 'meat' pinned in a delicate place.
I remember the invasion of the Ali Baba touring team representing our old

friends from the Old Bangkok Bangers invading the proceedings with their plastic sabres.
I remember a large amount of the Dogs stage diving
and I certainly remember the dogs in Soi Crocodile later on that night.
Some stories you just cannot tell.

2007 - The Vietnamese Influence

2007 found the pageant in a far more glamourous venue - The Dragon Disco, not so much a disco but essentially a Go Go bar. There were more contestants than ever several of the teams providing a full touring sqaud of virgins.

It was a boisterous affair to say the least with the number, and quality, of the contestants frankly outshining the ladies employed to dance in the bar. Finger nails were polished and sharpened and the atmosphere was hot and steamy.

The early contestants were of a high standard and made every attempt to curry favour with the judges. One particular lady attempted to tongue the compere to death which was then followed by an attempt to handcuff him to the poles. Of course he is made of much firmer stuff than to fall for such tactics despite his fondness for both practices.

Nudity was also present......... that in itself is often likely to turn the head of anyone, but frankly some of the items on show would have been well past their sell by date had they been located on the meat counter in your local Tesco Lotus!!!

But then came the last batch of contestants from the Saigon Geckos. Instead of slutty behaviour there was now grace and poise. The winner was yet another starlet in the making, feminine but yet confident enough to wear glasses. Tall and slim and with a desire for world peace the winner was found.

Fucked if I can remember her name though.



2006 - Sabrina was Robbed !!!

It was a commonly held opinion over the weekend that ‘Sabrina was Robbed’ and you’d have to say it’s probably correct, but the Elvis’s were out in force and drowned out the Piggies pleas.

It all goes back to the Miss Molly Malone’s Tour Virgin Beauty Pageant. Teams submitted their sexiest tour virgins for us all to enjoy. First up was ‘Fred’ (who is my opinion was vastly underrated. Sadly I lost the all precious piece of toilet paper with the phone number….sigh) who was beautifully decked out in khaki and shades. But then came the lass that won the audiences hearts…. Sabrina….a German Porn Star with genuine talent.

With audiences still breathless various other contestants came and went, staggering up onto the now rapidly overheating stage as Sabrina sizzled away on the left, stepping in the middle to take the mike and fry the MC’s  reddening face.

Who could defeat her?

Then up rose La Frenchie, the Flying Pelvis’ maiden of desire. It really is true, there is nothing like a French accent to send a crowd into raptures. The duel started there and then. Saucy versions of the ‘Les Marsailles’ versus crude German humour….and in the end although it was close, the French Lass won the day…..just….

But Sabrina will always have a place in all our hearts…..